Falling Behind And Ripping Us Off

Did you know I used to work in the "record" business? Uh huh. I did. I started working in it in the old days when they thought the cassette single might work (they called them "cassingles"). Then they stopped selling singles altogether, instead moving toward CD singles, which were really 4-5 song EPs that sold for $6.99, a higher price than any old cassingle would sell for even on its best day. Yeah, I worked in it when it was good (or "when we was fab" as George Harrison sang). Aww heck, let's play his song and I'll be right back.

I liked George. He was a good Beatle. Did you see the guests in there? Yeah, Ringo. But who else? Did you see Sir Elton John? Yes! That was him. Oh, the 80s...

Anyway, I didn't work for a record company in the '80s. It was during the '90s and the '00s. I got out just in time, 2006, just before the mass layoffs became commonplace all year round as opposed to something that only happened at Christmas time.

"Why the layoffs, David?" you ask me, wiping your hot cocoa's whipped cream off of your upper lip.

I shall tell you. Gather near me. Sit Indian style - uh, I mean Native American style. Keep quiet now as I tell you the story...

Once upon a time, there was an industry that was called Record. And Record made lots of money selling the same stuff to the same people over and over again, first on LP, then on cassette, then on CD. They loved selling the same songs over and over again too, packaged on the first album, then the Greatest Hits So Far, then the Best Of, then The Ultimate Collection... Oh, Record was smart. He was rich, too.

But something happened.

The evil Napster came in one day and took away all of Record's people. The people realized they could get all of their music for free on something called the Worldwide Web. They didn't need pre-packaged albums and they didn't need pre-packaged singles. They could get one song at a time for free. The people rejoiced. Hurray!

Record was mad. So he sued the people for stealing. That's right. Record sued his customers for leaving him. When that happens in a marriage, like when a wife sues for divorce, it's a pretty good bet the husband ain't ever coming back. That's what happened with the people. They didn't come back.

Meanwhile, in a far off land, a boy named Radio played music all day long. The people of his land loved Radio. They thought he was really keen. Radio paid the songwriters who wrote the songs he played. And all was good. In fact, Record even liked Radio because the songs Radio played sold in Record's stores. Birds chirped. The sun shined. There was peace in the world.

But when Record got mad at the people, he lost his mind. He went cukoo and decided to take it out on Radio. "Hey," Record said, flecks of dandruff hanging off his dirty beard, "you're playing my songs. I want you to pay me too!" You see, when Record made money, he liked Radio playing the recordings he owned. But when he lost his money, he decided he didn't like Radio anymore.

Poor Radio. He just wanted to be loved. He didn't do anything different from what he'd been doing for the past 60 years.

But Record's face got all red with anger. He called up his friend, Congress, and told him to pass a law forcing Radio to give him money. Congress said okay.

But Radio said, "Hold on there, fella. Don't be thinking I'm a gonna pay you money just because you suddenly don't know how to make money on your own."

Record went to Washington DC and told all of his Congress friends that he'd give them money for their campaigns so they could be re-elected and rule the world if only they'd make a law forcing Radio to pay them money.
Radio went to the people, the nice ones who always liked Radio, and said, "Yo, 'sup? Could y'all help us out? Please? Could ya call your Congress person fella and say, 'Yo, man, I think Record is wack! Don't give him what he wants 'cause if you do, I'm gonna tell all my people not to vote for you."

The only problem was, Radio told this to the people using somewhat boring radio commercials. Most of the people didn't get it. Or they just didn't care, probably because they didn't get it.

So Radio had a better idea. Let's use video. "Here," Radio said to the people, "could you please watch this?" And the people did.

The morals of the story are these:
Moral #1: If you're in a business that's doing really well, keep looking forward, because you need to be ready with a Plan B if Plan A starts to go south.
Moral #2: If you make a lousy commercial, people won't care. So do something else, i.e. making a better commercial. Like this:

Do you get it now, kiddies? Did you like the story? Do you understand it better now? I hope you care a wee bit too. Because I care about you. 'Nuff said.

SCREAM OUT

A special scream out this week goes to Maggie Moore's Irish Pub in Lincoln Park, NJ, right on Route 202. I ate their food last week. It was quite good. I crave their meat pie. They are also this week's very special Dining Deal restaurant on WDHA and WMTR (I'll teach you more about Dining Deals in the future). Want to know more about my new buddy Neville Gibson and Maggie Moore's? Then check this out:

Go there. Eat. Be merry and jolly and fat. It's the holidays. It's what we do.

SONG OF THE WEEK

If you're listening to WMTR (1250 on your NJ AM dial), you're hearing some Christmas music every 3rd or 4th song. This year, on WDHA (105.5 on your NJ FM dial), we're going to play 30 hours of non-stop, commercial-free Christmas music from 6pm on Christmas Eve until 11:59 PM on Christmas evening. With that in mind, I bet you just might hear this by George Harrison's old group, The Beatles.

Thanks for reading!
Dave

David Philp
Account Executive
WMTR-AM/WDHA-FM
Greater Media Broadcasting
55 Horsehill Rd. Cedar Knolls, NJ 07927
ofc: 973-538-1250 x1377
e: dphilp@greatermedianj.com
fax: 973-538-3060